“I wasted five years hurting a good black queen by passively staying with her but never choosing her fully.”
What is worst than being single (for the person who doesn’t want to be single)?
Being with someone who makes you feel single…
To her I bet it feels like a slow torturous death; if you are absent when times get tough and then leave her be – she deserves a man who is always present especially when the going gets tough.
As a man it doesn’t feel right to string a black queen’s heart along knowing deep in your heart you have no intention to choose her and be there when she needs you the most. A good black woman deserves a man who will love her unconditionally and that person is out there, it is clearly not you, you are just in her way to true happiness and love.
You can’t be in a relationship and be choosy of the moments you want to be in her life, it’s not optional or even practical.
If she has made up her mind to fully commit to you and be loyal to only you, it’s high time you reciprocate the commitment mutually.