9 Tips To Successfully Dating An Older Black Woman

Tips for dating an older black woman

For men interested in dating older black women, it’s on a whole different level than you are used to, courting and dating older black women requires you to take a different approach.
There are some important differences that you should be aware of from the beginning…

1) Get your priorities straight

 

Make sure neither of you is in the relationship specifically because of other’s age otherwise; the priorities may be off unless you are in it only for a quick fling. This is unlikely but certainly not uncommon… generally an older black woman, deciding to give dating a younger man a shot at a certain age, she is most likely looking for a lasting relationship so it’s not right to waste her time.
Best to discuss your respective wants and needs early on.

2) Values for older black women generally aren't the same as those of a younger black woman's.

 

The secret to successfully date an older black woman just as with a younger woman be gentle, kind, fun and loving but also understand that when dating an older black woman know her values aren’t similar to those of a young woman. While sex is important, it won’t be her main priority. The solution in this scenario is to be more invested in romance and intimacy, which will get her in the mood for sex more often.

3) Don’t waste her time!

 

If an older black woman is interested in dating younger black men, then make no mistake, she is interested in dating younger black men, not young boys. She will still desire a mentally confident and mature man, so won’t hesitate to quickly move on sooner rather than later if she realizes you are a time-waster or not on her wavelength.

4) Don’t try to compete with older black men

 

Never play in the same court as the more mature man. Often younger guys try to compete with the older guy, by the pretence of having more experience. Trying to prove they are more worldly, wise and even more successful than he is.

This is not necessarily what an older black woman wants from a younger guy.  She wants a man
who is excited about life rather than jaded. Positive rather than cynical, impulsive rather cautious, you need to show her how desirable you think she is this is what older women often hear less often the older they get. There’s no point in trying to intellectually stimulate her or have deep meaningful conversations with her because she can that from men her own age she is looking for someone who can give her the thrill and experience that men used to provide her before everything became so predictable and dull.

5) Genuinely make her feel she’s still 'got it'

As a woman into her 30’s, 40’s and 50’s, her physical appearance no longer looks the same as when she did while in her 20’s, this might begin to eat away at the confidence that she has in her appeal. If a man is genuinely attracted to an older black woman, he must ensure that he doesn’t hold back from showing his social sexual attraction for her “woman, you look sexy today” rather than hiding your attraction and saying, “oh, you look nice today.”

 

6) Enjoy being younger around them

 

The thing that older women like about younger men is their youth, excitement for life and energy level! So my advice to men wanting to date older women is to enjoy being your youthful self around them because being fun is what they are attracted to keep her engaged with her youthful side.

7) Give her the space she needs

If you want success in dating an older woman then you must remember to give her the space she needs. She’s independent with her own routines, interests, and friends. So she won’t need to be with you all the time in the same way a younger woman might. Be respectful of her wishes and you will appreciate then you spent much more.

 

8) While you might be tempted to only text, Don’t.

 

Dating an older woman can be a fantastic experience don’t forget that texting is areas you need to know what you are doing while you might be tempted to only text don’t. Make sure that you pick up the phone from time to time and actually call her, do so just to tell her you were craving the sound of her voice, she’ll appreciate it. Also when you text her watch your use of text speak and acronyms. She might be from another generation- maybe she didn’t grow up using cell phones-she could easily become lost or turned off.

Remember what a good deal you are getting trading your use of ‘lol’ for her experience and passion. Don’t make it hard work to communicate with you. Seduce her with your words-take the necessary time to write text messages that play humor, images and fantasies.

9) Let her know what you have extends beyond her age

As a younger man, you’ll need to understand some of her hesitancy about this relationship. She’s been programmed with decades of negative beliefs that ‘it can’t go anywhere’ and it can’t last.’ Due to your age. Your primary job will be to reinforce the love you share and let her know the love you share extends beyond age. She might fear you’ll leave her for a younger woman; make sure she knows it is not just a fling and certainly not only a sexual fetish. Stay positive consistent, and strong in your conviction.

And if you need more tips on getting such a woman to submit, check out our post: What Sort of Man Should a Black Woman Submit to? > here

Daniel N

Daniel N

Hello, my name is Daniel. I contribute to the Straight Black Blog to share my perspective on black relationships, healing and also the cultural and heritage subjects pertaining to the black community in general.