The late great baseball legend Jackie Robinson once quoted an old but a truthful saying that
‘behind every successful man there is usually a woman who deserves more credit for his successes’

Whatever amount of credit due, it’s rarely given to such deserving women. This wise saying holds across the board from politics to popular culture, and especially in the black community there are a ton of iconic figures who achieve the king status attributed to their ability to tap into the divine black feminine energy of their spouses, they were able to acquire great heights of success by being consciously aware of the power of the divine black feminine energy and its significant role in achievement of their black man’s wildest dream.
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“I wasted five years hurting a good black queen by passively staying with her but never choosing her fully.”

What is worst than being single (for the person who doesn’t want to be single)?

Being with someone who makes you feel single…

To her I bet it feels like a slow torturous death; if you are absent when times get tough and then leave her be – she deserves a man who is always present especially when the going gets tough.

As a man it doesn’t feel right to string a black queen’s heart along knowing deep in your heart you have no intention to choose her and be there when she needs you the most. A good black woman deserves a man who will love her unconditionally and that person is out there, it is clearly not you, you are just in her way to true happiness and love.

You can’t be in a relationship and be choosy of the moments you want to be in her life, it’s not optional or even practical.
If she has made up her mind to fully commit to you and be loyal to only you, it’s high time you reciprocate the commitment mutually.

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Well, no, it’s not..

But why do you need a black dating site?

Online dating has evolved immensely and we have a niche for everything you can imagine! You can find dating sites for men who like big women, interracial dating sites, black women and white men only, Asian only, Jewish only, Lesbians only and the list goes on and nobody has any issues with these – there are even sites for people who wish to have affairs and people with STDs!

One thing we have managed to maintain in our ever-changing world is our freedom to have preferences in who we date. They say you cannot help who you fall in love with…however, you can help who you choose to date and give your time and energy to.

For many people their partner is a reflection of them and when it comes to marriage and commitment most people tend to stay close to home with regards to religion and culture and in doing so tend to have better rates of success. In the world of online dating we have more choice than ever before but what happens when you are not your preference’s preference!?

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One of the challenges posed by online dating (or let’s face it…dating in general) is are they who they say they are? He or she could be married, could have children they haven’t mentioned, could have a scary record they haven’t disclosed and information they dare not share on their dating profile.

 

People, you must always look past your initial attraction to the person you are talking to online and do your due diligence. We are constantly trying to find ways to make our online dating platform safer. The most basic thing One can do on this site is GET VERIFIED. It is very easy to verify your online dating profile… All that is required is for them to copy the gesture in the image to prove they are the same person in the photo.

 

Nobody likes a catfish! If they cannot do that ladies and gentlemen … leave it where it stands. Or, if you really like them and they claim to be serious…

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Hopped on live with Dynast Amir’s channel, Search For Uhuru and we talk all things Straight, Black, Love.

Check the video out below!

YOU START TO GET SERIOUS WITH SOMEBODY BUT THEY DON’T GET ON WITH YOUR CHILDREN

When marriages break apart, the love life does not end there. People with kids start dating again. You may end up getting a partner who is a great match for you but the problem is that you may not know if your new partner will accept your kids. On the other hand, your kids may not get along with him/her. It is normally recommended that after a break-up and you start dating that your new partner should not meet your kids too early on – just in case. But it could be ages before your partner meets your children in this case. The trouble is what if you become emotionally invested in your new relationship it begins to get serious but by the time they meet your kids they don’t get along?

This would definitely be a deal breaker. Your children are a big part of your life (if not the biggest) and since you are looking for someone to share your life with, if they don’t get along with your most prized possessions the relationship probably won’t work.

If someone doesn’t accept your kids with open arms, you better say bye to them. Your aim is to find someone that’s gonna have your children’s back as well as yours. You have to all get along or the relationship won’t work.

In such a case, you have a hard decision to choose between your partner and your kids. In most cases, people will choose their kids whatsoever. Your kids came first remember! Some people will try to understand why the partner does not get on with your children and hope that with time they will bond, but that is risky, and is it worth the risk?

 

The worst thing you can do is to force your partner or your kids to develop a connection…which will push them further apart. Sometimes children develop negative feelings towards the new partner, for whatever reason and often times this is a red flag which needs to be explored. In such a case, ALWAYS listen to what they are saying. Your kids SHOULD have a say into your new relationship and it is necessary to prioritize their feelings and thoughts. If kids are already complaining about your new partner, this is a sign that they may not accept him/her as a member of your family. Not listening to your kids in these scenarios often result in abuse by that partner.

 

Here are signs you can watch out earlier before your relationship gets too much if your new partner is bonding with your kids.

 

  1. Communication

Great communication is very healthy for a relationship and the way your new partner communicates with your kids can tell you whether they are likely to engage in a relationship. If there is miscommunication and they don’t engage in conversations, which are a clear sign that they may not get along.

  1. Avoidance

If your partner does not look forward to spending time with your kids then there is a problem. Someone who gets along with your kids will actively look for ways to spend time with your kids. And if your kids are avoiding your new partner then it’s worse.

  1. Your Partner is Jealous With Your Kids

Some partners may seem to be jealous of your kids and even the time you spend with your kids. Some will even go to an extent of telling you to stop seeing them. They may even suggest going on a trip with you alone without the children. Such a partner is not ready to bond with your kids and it’s better to cut your relationship before you ruin your own relationship with your kids.

 

 

 

The #BlackLove movement seen across social media is more than a trending hashtag. Historically our families were separated, and even today, mainstream depictions of Black families are represented by a single parent unit headed by a mother. The resurgence of a social Black Love movement is multifaceted insofar as reclaiming our fundamental human right to Marriage and Family (Art 16). Black Love inherently lays the foundations to the building blocks of our communities; the African family – without it, we have no basis from which to create our customs, culture or legacies.

Join us on Thursday 28th February as we gather to celebrate and discuss the solutions to strengthening and sustaining Black relationships. Joined by some of our friends, we will explore the central themes of Communication, Business and the power and impact of digital media on Black Love. Delving deeper, led by Tony Cealy, the audience will be invited to participate in discussions and fun exercises along with the panel who will also share their respective journeys and present the methods they have used in order to sustain healthy and balanced relationships in business and love.

  • Exploring Black Love: Self, Business and Community (First Afrikan Directive)
  • Why Communication is not only key, it is everything
  • Love Languages – What are they? What are yours?
  • Black Love under Attack: The Emasculation of Black Men
  • Representation and the Power of Digital Media
  • Black Love in and as Business

See footage from the event below;

 

A romantic relationship is nothing short of incredible, hence, no one goes into a dedicated relationship thinking about its demise. But, what happens when it is stagnant? When you and partner aren’t happy? As painful as it may be, if you feel as though it has come to that point, here are some helpful signs that you should look for when it’s time to move on.

  1. Your Future No Longer Includes Him

The goal of any union is to build a longstanding partnership. If there is no possible future insight with this person, then why are you wasting your time? No one wants to waste their time nor should you waste the time of others. If you do not see it going anywhere, then it’s time to hit the eject button.

  1. When There Is No Attraction (Physically)

Sexual chemistry is vital and if you’re no longer attracted to him then the longevity of the union is heavily compromised.

  1. You Can’t Trust Him Anymore

Have you ever been in a thriving romance where there was no trust? No! I’m simply just doesn’t work. If you find that you’re constantly wondering if he’s telling you the truth, or constantly fact checking behind him, then something is terribly wrong. Trust is one of the major ingredients between two people and when it is no longer there (or has been broken) it’s extremely hard to repair those broken ties. If you both have tried to work on this and it’s just not working, maybe it’s time to reevaluate the future.

  1. When You’ve Outgrown Him

Growth is inevitable and one of the most beautiful things in life is growing together with your spouse. The problem arises when you have outgrown him.

  1. You No Longer Have The Same Ambitions…

If you’re both equally ambitious than there is no problem as you’ll both actively work hard to reach your respective goals. But if you don’t have the same ambition as your companion (and vice versa), it can grow increasingly difficult to sustain. Why? When your partner can’t understand why you must spend one more hour in the office to complete a task since they’ll rather binge-watch the latest Netflix show, shows that not only does he not understand what’s fundamental to you, but that they cannot prioritize something that’s important to you and your advancement. This causes you to lose the respect that you once had.

  1. Nor Do You No Longer Have The Same Values

Sometimes persons can adjust their goals and ambitions in life (for better or worse) but it’s not as easy to adjust their values because our values are a vital part of livelihood – and it’s for the most part, ingrained in us. Now, mature relations feature compromise and negotiation because after all, not everyone has the same values, but, the problems arise when your values begin to clash. If no compromises can be made regarding the most imperative values, then it’s time to move on.

  1. When You Can’t Forget The Past

We have all been through things in our past. But, we should never bring our baggage into your current situation as those demons in your past can certainly affect your present. It’s doubly hard to progress together when those hardships were brought about from your current situation.

  1. When You Stop Having Fun Together

Partnerships require a lot of work, but they are also meant to be filled with love and joy. When you’ve found that your love has lost that spark and you’ve tried your very best to revive that sense of joy, then it may be time to call it quits. After all, no one wants to be in a union which has now turned into a chore. Partnerships are hard but finding joy in your day to day life shouldn’t be that hard.

Moving on can be gut-wrenching but sometimes love doesn’t conquer all and that’s fine.

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