2019 is the year we are witnessing the highest traffic to online dating sites and apps. Particularly in the black people meeting black people online niches.
More black singles are eager to meet someone online; likely due to its high success rate (most people know of a couple that met online and are now happily married – this was unheard of a decade ago!)
As you set up your profile, swiping and sending those first messages, here are some pieces of advice on how you can up your online dating game!
Write a DOPE Bio…
As obvious as it seems, some people’s ‘about me’ sections are surprisingly empty!
If somebody does happen to swipe right on you based on your profile picture, they will not bother going any further upon seeing your empty bio. Occasionally a prospect might send a message to find out more about the persons in question and pointing out their empty profile. Although dating apps are an image-heavy game, empty profiles take a lot of the enjoyment out of the experience.
There is no good excuse to leave it blank and somebody will call you out on it. It says a lot about you not taking the minimum effort to create a dating profile, it shows your lack of seriousness and does not bode well for the kind of attention you might put in a relationship.
For certain dating apps, such as SBL Dating, you won’t get in without a full profile, bio and all.
Be Diverse With Your Photos
In addition to avoiding the dating app pitfall of including any group shots or blurry photos…
You also want images to show your personality. You want your photos to depict a well-balanced and fun life (of course, if that is the kind of life you lead!)
Your dating profile is your chance to communicate what your life is like, make them wonder who and what you are about and what it might feel like to date you. Ideally, someone happens upon your profile and thinks to themselves: I could see myself being apart of that life-and enjoying it.
Which means you might avoid any images that are particularly controversial. First impressions matter, especially with online dating.
Don’t Swipe Right On EVERY Profile
Some people do this for maximum exposure and an increased chance of getting matches, but more matches don’t actually translate to better ones.
If you are swiping right on everyone and not reading their bios you might end up wasting your time (and theirs). Be active, be open but selective.
Don’t Judge Too Fast But Be Honest With Yourself (If You Know They Aren’t Your Type)
Again, be active, be open but be selective.
Yes, do retain your standards. But be open – that classic saying ‘do not judge a book by its cover’ stands true for online dating. You might benefit from giving someone a chance who looks different from people you tend to date. After all where are all of those people you ‘tend’ to date now? You can keep to your standards and step outside of your zone a little bit too. You never know who you might meet.
Message Right After You Get A Match!
Playing hard to get is not a good strategy when it comes to online dating. And if you are hoping to up your online dating game, that ain’t it.
Online dating apps are places where people juggle multiple matches and conversations – if someone interesting messages you and they are online don’t wait for an hour to answer back. A lot can happen within an hour. He/she could schedule a date with somebody showing them interest and who is not playing games. In which case, you played yourself and lost. Or maybe they think there is nobody serious on the platform and then delete it altogether rendering you with no access to contact them.
….BUT… Please Say More Than ‘Hey’…
Don’t take my word for it listen to the golden globe winning actor Aziz Ansari, who has rallied against the generic first message in his comedy and book ‘Modern Romance’. Ansari admits to having sent a good number of ‘heys’ in his own dating life, but he has the wisdom to advise against them. Generic messages come off as super dull and lazy, they make the recipient feel not very special or important to you.
Whatever You Do, Don’t Ask This Question!
I KNOW YOU THINK IT IS CHARMING OR A COMPLIMENT…
But this rhetorical question- how are you single?
It presumes something is wrong with the person who happens to be single. It also hits women harder than men, as women face far more scrutiny and judgement for not being married by a certain age etc. Or generally, just feel like they now need to defend themselves somewhat and reassure that they are single on their own terms whether they are or not it just doesn’t set a great tone.
Stay Positive, Take Hints, Get Back On Your Horse.
This one is hard, I know.
There’s so much negativity on online dating sites and apps but do not let that deter you. That person who is really interested and sends positive messages will stand out from the crowd in a good way. And if someone doesn’t respond to your initial message, leave it be.
There could be multiple reasons for silence. Maybe they’re fresh off a breakup and felt ready to swipe but not actually message anyone; maybe their friends were swiping for them, or maybe they just don’t have the time to devote to online now…
But pestering a silent stranger, even if you are already matched, won’t warm them up into responding or going out with you.
Concentrate on those who are writing you back, and leave the ghosts behind. Probably a catfish anyway!
Not sure what signs to look for when it comes to online dating catfishing?
Then you definitely need to read this post >>
How Not To Get Catfished While Looking For Love Online
Online Dating Can Be Exhausting…
I am a huge fan of this one. When you have three or four bad dates in a row and they all seem the same it a good time to give your swiping finger a rest.
Or when you feel you have turned into a hunter, you doing more pursuing than you’d like.
Feeling burned out and bitter are good indicators it’s time to recalibrate. Close those profiles down – try something new or focus 100% of that time and energy on yourself and betterment. If you decide to come back to it you will be a better you in a better frame of mind with fresh new prospects to match a refreshed outlook.