How Does One
Notice the word “build” in that question.
Confidence is not a magical personality trait that you either have, or you don’t. Confidence is a skill that canbe built and nurtured over time.
Fulfilment is not a lottery prize that some people feel, and others are deprived of. It is something you must make a conscious decision to seek and claim.
Direction in life is not a navigation system implanted in some of us at birth. Granted, some are gifted with parents who are well versed in this skill and have passed this skill on. Regardless, your sense of direction can be enhanced and you can find your way in the same way that you can lose it.
These things take a level of drive and discipline that are attainable for anyone who wants them.
Well, actually, anyone who is willing to be honest enough with themselves about where they are at in life, first.
I’m going to take a guess and it might piss you off…
But, if it does, that’s good.
You let yourself off the hook way too often. In other words, when you don’t get your desired result – you rarely accept accountability.
“It’s no big deal if I skip the gym today, I went yesterday.”
“I’m just going to listen to music instead of read.”
“The deadline isn’t until Friday, I’ll finish it then.”
“The right person will just come along eventually. I don’t need to change anything.”
“I’ll get started on my side hustle when I get my next paycheck.”
While these might look and feel like you’re just giving yourself a break, what you’re doing is slowly chipping away at your credibility with yourself.
Ahhh, there it is. How is confidence built? Confidence is built through YOU establishing credibility with YOU.
When you tell yourself you’re going to do something, there is only one person who can ever hold you accountable.
Not a parent, not a spouse, not even a life coach (despite how hard we try).
You are the only person laying your head on the pillow at night and knowing what you did or did not do to push yourself closer to your goals that day.
Each time that you let yourself off the hook, you’re prioritizing comfort over progress.
You’re failing to challenge yourself to put in the work.
You’re effectively letting yourself down.
What Mindset Results From This?
- The feeling that you’ll never get there.
- That you might as well not even start because you’ll fail anyway.
- That your lack of progress is just because you’re not good enough.
- You start categorizing yourself as someone who simply cannot achieve what others can, to create an excuse.
- You tell yourself that you don’t have the ability, so it’s okay if you quit. You didn’t have a choice, right?
The people who are at the top of their game understand that consistency is more important than anything else when it comes to progress. A small step forward is better than no step at all. You cannot go to the gym for 2 hours one day and then not go again for a week or so and expect major results at the end of the month…
If you find yourself spinning in circles in life, looking back at the past 1, 2, 5, or 10 years, and NOT feeling like you have substantially progressed both personally and professionally.
Then, I challenge you to analyse your daily activities and ask yourself how often you’re actually acknowledging when you are slacking off. When you know in your heart of hearts that you are about to distract yourself but you do it anyway.
Some Strategies To Overcome This Challenge:
- Schedule a portion of your day in your calendar to do something that moves you closer to a goal.
- Write, read, go to the gym, mix a track, reach out to a potential client. Set aside the time. 5 minutes, 10 minutes, an hour, whatever.
- Take your large overwhelming goal(s) and break it down into smaller more obtainable short term goals.
- Have something you can accomplish tomorrow, next week, next month – and so on – to bring you closer to the end game.
- Set some small targets and start smashing them!
- Find an accountability partner or hire a coach who will hold you accountable. Just remember – you will always have to be the one who does the work.
- Make sure you are pursuing what you’re TRULY passionate about.
- Put a stipulation in place for yourself. For example: No social media until I write another 5 pages / 2000 words of my book.
If you find your enthusiasm lacking, maybe you are on the wrong path and haven’t been honest about it.
Or maybe you have chosen to get into something for the wrong reasons.
Either way, if you aren’t passionate about it it won’t stick. Your happiness should be the goal – therefor pursue something you can see yourself putting the work in whatever the weather It won’t even feel like work this way.
Regardless of what works for you as an individual, the important part is that you keep yourself on a track to progress and accomplishment. Too many people are living a circular life where they keep spinning around and wondering why they’re not going anywhere.
If you want fulfilment, you need to make progress.
Not just professionally, but on a personal level where you feel like you are growing and developing as a human being.
Discipline is not a personality trait, it’s a verb. And one you need to add into your daily habits if you want to unleash your full potential.
PS. Nothing develops confidence like smashing your personal goals! Confidence is about the relationship you have with yourself – so the promises you keep matter a lot in this relationship.