I know what you’re thinking “let’s have sex” but no, not those three words… while this suggestion, coming from a black woman may be the most intense sex-inducing words she can say, but in the deeper context of love sexy runs way deeper than intimate sex
The three words in question-whether she whispers them in your ear or writes them down on a napkin-can quickly mesmerize and flood his spinal cord with fluid, snap his shoulders square and unfurl his superman cape
They are so potent that a man may suddenly feel inspired to leap tall buildings in a single bounce and rescue kittens from trees. They inspire him to show up for her, whatever that looks like in the moment. These words make him feel deeply sexy; they make everyone feel sexy.
For when he truly receives them they trigger primal masculinity, strengthening him with resolve, deepening his commitment to purpose. For her to authentically offer them, she must allow herself to relax and surrender ambition to control how this moment flows, she must allow herself to relax and surrender ambition to control how this moment flows, which is enlivening to her female essence.
With three words, she is essentially saying, “I know you’ve got this”
The three sexiest words a black woman can say to a man, “I trust you”
My last serious relationship had core problems around trust for many years, I ached for her trust in me but she would never fully offer it. She never admitted this, but her mistrust stemmed deep in her anger towards her cheating ex-lover, and had nothing to do with me and I was paying the price quite heavily. In fairness though I hadn’t earned her trustfully, early in our relationship before even agreeing to be monogamous she caught me in a lie which antagonized her betrayal wound, my lie further set fire to her toxic waste pond.
Disregarding what would soon become a raging hellfire, we moved in together.
Since we are talking sexy here I’ll share that we had exquisite sex and lots of it, delicious physical pleasure.
But without trust, neither one of us allowed ourselves to be truly vulnerable with each other. Neither of us felt safe to surrender to the blissful exchange of love energy that flows between two people in a healthy intimacy which requires vulnerability.
She gave me her body during sex but often withheld her true heart. She didn’t feel emotionally safe with me, so she rarely offered immense love inside her that ached for expression in our relationship. We looked sexy together on the outside, and we had physical pleasure, but we felt awful in our depths.
‘True sexy’ arises from a person’s depth.
In my relationship, we didn’t feel safe to give the gift of our true selves to each other. She was persistently afraid I would abandon her so she held back the gift of her trust and her full love. I was persistently frustrated by her attempts to control me, so I resisted completely cherishing her and showing up for her in countless ways.
Resentment seethed during the rest of the day after sex. We were often either dodging blame or flinging at each other like teenagers. It was not a sexy experience
When a woman trusts a man, she is trusting in the gifts of masculinity to protect and provide strength and effective direction in this moment, she is letting go of worry allowing herself to open and soften any walls around her sensual, feeling heart, she melts into vulnerability and offers the expression of her true self in this moment.
To be told “I trust you” by a woman is to be told
“I trust that you will hold me and everything I care about as infinitely precious; that I will act to protect and cherish my life, my heart as well as the lives and hearts of those I care about: my children, mothers and sister, too, you will be in a place of steadfast strength I can anchor to when I might otherwise be overcome by the turbulent winds of this ever-changing moment. I offer my real self to you, relaxed and vulnerable, confident that your best self will keep me safe as I do”
A woman’s willingness to be her true unguarded self is an essential aspect of her feminine gift, for her femininity shines through when she relaxes into herself. Whether the warm glow emanating from her lit up eyes, the sensual swing in her confident step or the raw unbridled truth in her authentic talk, sharing her feminity is widely attractive to many men it compels men to step deeper into own innate masculinity.
In other words, these three words can inspire a man to claim his birthright as responsible loving, ethical who champions all life and passionately serves the greater good. They routinely inspire him not to let her down and every man wants to make his woman proud of him. Imagine a world in which all men are genuinely worthy of a woman’s trust. Also imagine a world in which every woman is deeply connected to the wondrous she already is whole enough, lovable enough that her trust in herself allows her to relax and offer her authentic feminine gifts freely to her partner because she can now trust him to always be whomever he chooses to be.