You would think that black Christian singles have an easy time finding their black love; with the number of black churches on the rise every day and the existence of megachurches. I mean, megachurch!
That just screams high volume.
Despite this, black Christians have just as hard a time meeting as other black singles. In fact, it might actually be harder for single black Christian people to meet than others for the sheer fact that their main requirement is to find somebody else who is a follower of their same religion.
Often times it isn’t just about the other person matching their religion but they might also want them to be a member of the same denomination/faith. For example; Protestant, Catholic, Seventh Day Adventist, Hebrew Israelite etc. The list goes on.
The issue with solely trying to meet somebody in your church is if you have been going there for years you tend to already be familiar with the churchgoers and regard everybody like family.
Everybody knows one another which makes it sort of off-putting as a hunting ground! You want fresh faces and new prospect.
So where do black Christian people meet?
Where would be the best place for a black, Christian man or woman, seeking marriage and commitment to meet?
Well, in 2001 a site called Christian Mingle was created to help Christian singles meet who wanted to form their relationship around God.
This site was revolutionary of its time and it helped thousands of people find love as well as inspiring many other niche religious-based dating platforms to spring up and grab a share of the market.
Although these sites were specific to the Christian singles niche they weren’t specifically for black Christian people and many black Christian users of these platforms who wanted to date within their race as well as within their religion were shamed for seeking other blacks. In addition to this, in 2016 Christian Mingle was sanctioned for not being open to gays and lesbians and as a result currently allows same-sex partnerships to occur on their platform.
For many traditional-minded, black Christian people, this goes against their biblical belief system so this platform proved to be no different than other dating sites as the niche was not narrow enough.
Now, I am not necessarily here to say that SBL Dating is the best spot that black Christian single people meet because religion is not the core focus of SBL dating.
Creating meaningful and lasting African, black unions, as a whole, is the key focus.
However, as a niche, the aim is to be the best spot that black singles, from all walks of life, who have a shared family value system on man, woman + child, can meet, safely without being condemned by the ‘progressive’ world.
“Shared value systems are important and the whole idea of a niche is to narrow down the noise.”
This is what I wholly believe.
When choosing a mate for a serious, lasting bond – and using online dating as a tool to do so – the most important step from the start is choosing a platform with the least noise. One which is geared towards your goals and attracts other like-minded people, by default.
The platform should also have integrity and desire to keep it fit for it’s intended purpose, whatever that may be.
Forcing a niche to undo the narrowing down is problematic, at best.
So again, I won’t say that Straight Black Love is the best spot for single black Christians to meet but it is a start. You certainly will not be condemned for wanting to converse with another heterosexual black christian, although some users may not be in support of your religious beliefs you can narrow them out further with the ‘Religion’ filter.
SDA singles can view only SDA singles if they choose. And again, all of whom are also black and heterosexual, by default.
Hebrew Israelite singles can view and meet other Hebrew Israelite singles and so on. And this goes for all religions and faiths within the black community.
Needless to say, many people still prefer the traditional way of meeting and many black Christian people do still meet in the church, of course. However, we have to stay consistent with the times and that is the fact that black millennial Christians may choose to look online (as it is familiar territory) as well as at their local church while seeking their mate.
If you choose to join an online dating site, the following advice will be useful on whichever platform you choose:
1. Be Unapologetic
Be absolutely unapologetically unwavering and upfront about your religion, faith and how important it is to you. I cannot stress this enough.
Emphasise that you are looking to meet like-minded black Christian men or women, only. Many black Christian singles admit that they are scared that they will “put people off” with their religious beliefs… but they shouldn’t be!
Anybody who is put off isn’t for you.
You have successfully filtered out some jokers – and that is all any dating platform strategy is truly about.
2. Be Clear
Be clear that you are looking for somebody who matches your faith. For example, your serious Hebrew Israelite singles profile starting line might look a little something like this:
“I am a black Hebrew Israelite and my faith is the foundation of who I am and my core belief system. I am only seeking a complement who shares this belief system…etc.”
Any black, single Hebrew Israelite who is genuinely deeply rooted in their religion will be drawn to such. Those who aren’t will pass.
3. Be Willing To Walk
Be willing to walk away and accept that this person might not be the one. Though you might feel that your options are limited; do not let this make you force something that is not there. If you sense something is off or that they might be telling you what you want to hear, be able to leave it where it stands.
4. Go At Your Own Pace
If you have decided to wait until marriage – do not necessarily disclose this on your profile but if you get this far in conversation during the courting period; let them know and stick with it. This is another area where people fail – they are not sure of themselves and easily swayed. If this is the case you will find it hard to sieve out the genuine candidates. You might find this blog: on self-confidence and consistency, useful.
But if straight-up online dating just is not your thing then you can always join other online communities specific to your religious faith. For example, there are Facebook, Discord and Telegram groups and communities where other like-minded people gather.
You might become good friends with somebody and be introduced to another friend.
The key here is to not limit yourself geographically.
These days many successful couples admit that they would never have met their husband/wife had it not been for a strange series of events. And, more often than not these series of events involve the internet in some way shape or form. So yes, black Christian single people meet at the church but can also find love online like everybody else, too.
But all of this means nothing if you aren’t ready to meet or be met. If you haven’t been doing the correct growth work the right question might not be where, but When Should Black Christian Singles Meet?
Everyone isn’t ready for a serious commitment – even if they are Christian – so make sure you are and can decipher when somebody else is or isn’t.