2019 is the year we are witnessing the highest traffic to online dating sites and apps. Particularly in the black people meeting black people online niches.

 

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A romantic relationship is nothing short of incredible, hence, no one goes into a dedicated relationship thinking about its demise. But, what happens when it is stagnant? When you and partner aren’t happy? As painful as it may be, if you feel as though it has come to that point, here are some helpful signs that you should look for when it’s time to move on.

  1. Your Future No Longer Includes Him

The goal of any union is to build a longstanding partnership. If there is no possible future insight with this person, then why are you wasting your time? No one wants to waste their time nor should you waste the time of others. If you do not see it going anywhere, then it’s time to hit the eject button.

  1. When There Is No Attraction (Physically)

Sexual chemistry is vital and if you’re no longer attracted to him then the longevity of the union is heavily compromised.

  1. You Can’t Trust Him Anymore

Have you ever been in a thriving romance where there was no trust? No! I’m simply just doesn’t work. If you find that you’re constantly wondering if he’s telling you the truth, or constantly fact checking behind him, then something is terribly wrong. Trust is one of the major ingredients between two people and when it is no longer there (or has been broken) it’s extremely hard to repair those broken ties. If you both have tried to work on this and it’s just not working, maybe it’s time to reevaluate the future.

  1. When You’ve Outgrown Him

Growth is inevitable and one of the most beautiful things in life is growing together with your spouse. The problem arises when you have outgrown him.

  1. You No Longer Have The Same Ambitions…

If you’re both equally ambitious than there is no problem as you’ll both actively work hard to reach your respective goals. But if you don’t have the same ambition as your companion (and vice versa), it can grow increasingly difficult to sustain. Why? When your partner can’t understand why you must spend one more hour in the office to complete a task since they’ll rather binge-watch the latest Netflix show, shows that not only does he not understand what’s fundamental to you, but that they cannot prioritize something that’s important to you and your advancement. This causes you to lose the respect that you once had.

  1. Nor Do You No Longer Have The Same Values

Sometimes persons can adjust their goals and ambitions in life (for better or worse) but it’s not as easy to adjust their values because our values are a vital part of livelihood – and it’s for the most part, ingrained in us. Now, mature relations feature compromise and negotiation because after all, not everyone has the same values, but, the problems arise when your values begin to clash. If no compromises can be made regarding the most imperative values, then it’s time to move on.

  1. When You Can’t Forget The Past

We have all been through things in our past. But, we should never bring our baggage into your current situation as those demons in your past can certainly affect your present. It’s doubly hard to progress together when those hardships were brought about from your current situation.

  1. When You Stop Having Fun Together

Partnerships require a lot of work, but they are also meant to be filled with love and joy. When you’ve found that your love has lost that spark and you’ve tried your very best to revive that sense of joy, then it may be time to call it quits. After all, no one wants to be in a union which has now turned into a chore. Partnerships are hard but finding joy in your day to day life shouldn’t be that hard.

Moving on can be gut-wrenching but sometimes love doesn’t conquer all and that’s fine.

Dating a very close friend can be a beautiful thing, but it can also be very daunting. If you are thinking about taking this major step in your relationship, here are some pros and cons that you need to know before you embark on this journey:

 

 

They Like You, For You

When you’ve just met someone, the most cringe-worthy things in your life are probably the things you keep to yourself, for at least a few dates. But, to your best friend, it’s just another amazing story, that you’d never have to feel embarrassed about.
When someone loves you for you – flaws and all, it is a feeling that cannot be described. They were there during your awkward times and many more embarrassing moments but they were there for every last one of them.

 

You’ll Probably Have A Lot In Common

Friendships usually bud from a common interest, whether it’s your love for romantic movies or even a sport, you guys grew closer to each other because of similar interests. This makes the transition easy because you can continue doing things that you love doing – together!

 

Their Family Knows And Accepts You …Hopefully

After you and your best friend have been friends for years, it’s a no-brainer that you and their family would have a relationship. If you have a permanent spot at the dinner table, then they already love you and have probably been thinking – why aren’t they together already!

 

Mutual Friends

Do you remember all the times you had to meet your ex’s friends? Did you dread having to meet a whole new group of people? If you dated your best friend, you share the same friends – so you can avoid any awkward introductions!

 

They Know Your Past – The Good Bad And The Evil

There is nothing more uncomfortable than diving into the past and discussing your dating history (or any part of your past for that matter) with your new love interest. But with your best friend, they know it all, and never judged you because odds are, they were the person you came crying to.

 

Things May Change

Once you have decided to explore dating your best friend, you should consider how this new dynamic would affect your current relationship. A friendship and an intimate relationship both require work but an intimate relationship requires a different level of attention, care and growth because your lives are now directly intertwined rather than being supportive roles.

 

Ending The Relationship Might End Your Friendship

If all doesn’t go to plan, can you go back to being just friends? Before embarking on an intimate relationship with your best friend, you would have to evaluate the chance of them not being in your life at all. Sometimes, you’ll end up losing a lover and a friend in the process.


It Would Also Disrupt Your Immediate Circle Of Friends

If you and your bestie-now-turned-lover decides to calls it quits, not only would it be almost impossible for you to rekindle your friendship, but you may also lose a few friends along the way as it’s likely for some to feel as though they need to choose a side.

 

In the end, there is no set guidelines for this not so unique situation because what may have worked for someone else might not exactly work for you. Yes, it looks asthough the pros outweigh the cons, but, before you open Whatsapp, ask yourself some honest questions.

Why your best friend? Why now? What would you do if it doesn’t work out? Is it worth it?

 

Dating in the 21st century is no joke. 

But, with all the online tools that are available to us, it only seems to make things even more difficult – not easier!

So if you’re looking for some online dating tips, trust us, you’re not alone!

The

DO be honest

Honesty will always be the best policy. Evaluate the person that you are rather than the person you are pretending to be. If you’re 50 don’t say you’re 35 – even if you look it. This would eliminate disappointment on both ends because you’d rather have someone interested in you for who you truly are! Makes sense right? With that being said…

 

DO be realistic

An online dating or app site isn’t the time for you to get picky or unrealistic, nor is online dating as strict as a job interview. You should want the best for yourself but sometimes what’s best for you wouldn’t be seen in plain black and white. So get out there, go on a few dates and be realistic because finding someone who genuinely wants to get to know you is a start.

 

DO give people a chance

Sometimes what you have in your mind as “your type” really might not be, after all, if you were having luck dating “your type” you wouldn’t be resorting to online dating. So step outside of your comfort zone and see what happens. You’ll never know what the world has to offer if you don’t give it a chance.

 

DO enjoy the moment

Just because your search for true love is now via nontraditional means, this does make it any less fun or any less special. This is the time to try things you’ve never tried (within good reason of course) because when you least expect it, is when the sparks ignite.

 

DO bounce back from rejection 

Odds are, you wouldn’t meet your prince/princess charming on date number 1. Also, don’t forget that online dating is probably one of the hardest ways to get to know someone because how much can you really gather from a short biography line? So, don’t let one bad date…or 10 get you down because they are a million fish in the sea ready and waiting for you to notice them!

The

DON’T [for the love of all things holy] talk about your exes 

If your date happens to ask you about what happened (out of mare curiosity), this is still not the time to open the floodgates. There are just some things that you need to leave in the past and this is one of them.

 

DON’T be mean

Yes, the dating world can be quite cruel but this doesn’t mean that you should add to the cruelty that already exists. If someone genuinely reaches out to you and have no interest, be sure to thank them for reaching out (because it’s the decent thing to do) while expressing that you’re not interested (nicely).

 

DON’T be inappropriate

There is a difference between being quirky or expressing your fun natured side but thread cautiously because what you think might be funny, might be rude to someone else.

 

DON’T give out too much personal information

Online dating can be scary especially seeing that one can find out anything about you from the good ol’ internet. So be sure to not give too much information in the early stages – they don’t need to know your 4 middle names nor your last name – are they employing you? They don’t even need to know where you live nor do they need your number. Practice reasonable dating safety and only give personal information once you are comfortable.

 

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