Across all ethnic groups, the rates of marriage are in a constant decline over the past decade, and with those tying the knot doing it much later in life. A comparison between more educate whites, black people with less than a high school diploma have been marrying less and much later in life.

This phenomenon can be credited to marital stratification by race and the level of education revealing that, factors such as the ability to accumulate wealth- such as having money in the bank, owning a house, a car or an income stream is a major determinant factor for first marriages.

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When marriages break apart, the love life does not end there. People with kids start dating again. You may end up getting a partner who is a great match for you but the problem is that you may not know if your new partner will accept your kids. On the other hand, your kids may not get along with him/her. It is normally recommended that after a break-up and you start dating that your new partner should not meet your kids too early on – just in case. But it could be ages before your partner meets your children in this case. The trouble is what if you become emotionally invested in your new relationship it begins to get serious but by the time they meet your kids they don’t get along?

This would definitely be a deal breaker. Your children are a big part of your life (if not the biggest) and since you are looking for someone to share your life with, if they don’t get along with your most prized possessions the relationship probably won’t work.

If someone doesn’t accept your kids with open arms, you better say bye to them. Your aim is to find someone that’s gonna have your children’s back as well as yours. You have to all get along or the relationship won’t work.

In such a case, you have a hard decision to choose between your partner and your kids. In most cases, people will choose their kids whatsoever. Your kids came first remember! Some people will try to understand why the partner does not get on with your children and hope that with time they will bond, but that is risky, and is it worth the risk?


The worst thing you can do is to force your partner or your kids to develop a connection…which will push them further apart. Sometimes children develop negative feelings towards the new partner, for whatever reason and often times this is a red flag which needs to be explored. In such a case, ALWAYS listen to what they are saying. Your kids SHOULD have a say into your new relationship and it is necessary to prioritize their feelings and thoughts. If kids are already complaining about your new partner, this is a sign that they may not accept him/her as a member of your family. Not listening to your kids in these scenarios often result in abuse by that partner.


Here are signs you can watch out earlier before your relationship gets too much if your new partner is bonding with your kids.


  1. Communication

Great communication is very healthy for a relationship and the way your new partner communicates with your kids can tell you whether they are likely to engage in a relationship. If there is miscommunication and they don’t engage in conversations, which are a clear sign that they may not get along.

  1. Avoidance

If your partner does not look forward to spending time with your kids then there is a problem. Someone who gets along with your kids will actively look for ways to spend time with your kids. And if your kids are avoiding your new partner then it’s worse.

  1. Your Partner is Jealous With Your Kids

Some partners may seem to be jealous of your kids and even the time you spend with your kids. Some will even go to an extent of telling you to stop seeing them. They may even suggest going on a trip with you alone without the children. Such a partner is not ready to bond with your kids and it’s better to cut your relationship before you ruin your own relationship with your kids.




Are you looking for love online?

Chances are if you have not been catfished already it may happen to you soon…sorry!

Being catfished is simply someone faking a persona online and pretending to be someone else.

This person will go to the extent of making you believe they are exactly who they say they are.

You may end up falling in love with a person who does not actually exist. 

That is crazy, right?

What if you discover that the person you fell in love with is a school kid behind the screen?

That would REALLY suck… :-/

Whether you met online through Facebook or an actual online dating app, you will probably see a lot of catfishing and fake profiles. These things happen and, to avoid being a victim,

I got you covered.

Here are 8 Tips on how not to get catfished while looking for love online.

1. Call the Person on Your Phone

One of the ways to get to know someone is by listening to their voice. If he or she refuses to talk to you on their phone, probably they are of the opposite gender. Always insist on a phone call to avoid being catfished.

3. Insist on Using Snapchat/Instagram/FaceTime

Who doesn’t have snap chat in the 21st century?

Are you for real if you can’t make the effort to download it ? 

An excuse you will get here is that they are having trouble downloading it or their phones memory is full lmao. 


5. Ask as Many Questions as Possible

People are smart liars BUT there will always be a way to catch one out…

The best way to get to know someone is by asking a lot of questions.

Ask questions…. pay attention to their reactions… peep their consistency.


You will definitely spot a liar depending on how they answer questions.

7. Note The Consistency of Their Stories

If their story is inconsistent then they probably have something to hide.

Pay attention to what he/she tells you and if certain information doesn’t add up, it might not be true.

2. Try Using Video Chat

They’ve probably already sent you a bunch of pics…

Just to be so sure that you are talking with the right person, a video chat will do.

This is the best way to avoid being catfished as you will see the person AND hear their voice. From the photos they’ve sent you, you can tell if it’s the same person. Just so you know, somebody who is catfishing you will avoid this by any means necessary. They’ll use excuses like ‘my cam isn’t working’….

4. Seems too Good to be True? It Probably is...

This one speaks for itself but….

If you come across a profile of a person that seems to be just too perfect, question yourself.

Go with your instincts my dear.

6. Do an Image Search

If you’ve ever watched the TV show catfish (if you haven’t maybe you should!) you will know that the first thing Nev and the other dude (I forgot his name) do is a Google Image Search.

Doing an image search will be a dead giveaway if the image appears elsewhere but the details don’t match.

Check for multiple profiles, details and names used. Also check their FB page and see if they have a reasonable number of friends and if they have people tagged in their photos or back and forth dialog etc. 

Be creative..

8. If They are Asking for Money They are a Catfish

I repeat.

If they are asking for money they ARE a catfish.

You just started chatting with this person you’ve never met and they are asking for money. 

For some tragic occurrence.

For a phone bill.

For some business deal they might miss out on… they will get creative with these reasons and appeal to the kind-heart you have.

It’s time to block them.


The Bottom Line

Whether you are an experienced dater or new to dating online, catfishing is one of these things you will inevitably come across. 

Don’t let someone take you for a ride with their fake identity.

Applying these tips will help you to not fall for such traps online.

Happy online dating! 🙂