You Do Not Serve Anyone By Shrinking Yourself For Love

As black women, for even the slightest things we do (or for the manner in which we react to things done to us), we hear about how aggressive we are and how much attitude we have…
Despite that fact that if anybody else reacts the same way it is labelled as “feisty” or “firery” etc.

Black women are excessive.
Excessively destitute, excessively loud, excessively stubborn, excessively demanding, excessively vibrant, excessively tragic, excessively passionate, excessively expressive, excessively whatever…

Whatever it is we are too much of it.

So then we figure out how to recoil ourselves in innumerable ways. To vanish or some way or another deny our actual experience and existence as black women.

For whatever reason, it’s sad.

We can’t win… so we tend to go in one of two directions.

  1. I am whatever you say I am. Be louder, be aggressive, become all of the labels.
  2. Shrink. Try to be less….everything.

But black women, you need to hear this...

You don’t serve a man by contracting yourself to fit inside his restricted ability to adore you.

You can’t drive away a man – or anybody – who is truly prepared to work with and figure out how to cherish every part of you.

Black woman, your naturally divine, black feminine energy is flawless.

Yes, it is.

However, this doesn’t mean you don’t have your very own inward work to do.

Obviously, you do! You already know this.

We all, men and women – act unskillfully out of dread and old false-self constraining convictions that simply push love away. Whether that be from past relationships and carrying past relationship baggage into new unions – or generational curses and straight up bad parenting.

Yet, always remember that you’re here to express the FULLNESS of you, minute by minute, from your distress to your happiness.

On the off chance that you truly are TOO MUCH for somebody (and you will know since they’ll be continually battling to recoil you into something they can comprehend and oversee or they’ll simply take off running) at that point, you don’t serve them by contracting yourself just to keep them close.

In any case, what good reason would you have to be with somebody who continues indicating to you that they have no desire to learn how to cherish you? That you are too much to understand… 

A man genuinely deserving of your heart is one who is happy to show up and battle whatever winged serpents emerge inside him that guards his heart and keeps him from offering his truest affection.

As men are not instructed how to cherish; as a matter of fact, they’re being educated the inverse. They’ve been instructed that rationale and reason – however just their own – should take precedence over feelings and emotions.

Feelings are a weakness.

Which is the reason some men can and will expel you when you don’t act the manner in which they want you to.

It is your ability, your fearlessness, to offer yourself wholly, even the awkward parts, that is a man’s welcome to escape their heads and drop into their souls.

That natural, divine femininity that you possess.

In the event that a man is plainly dedicated to opposing the whole of you, don’t endure yourself till he makes sense of it. Allow him to oppose… and release him.

What’s more, in the event that he is truly prepared to cherish you, he’ll be eager to battle the demons within who guard his heart. As he know that will be the only way to open you up and endure your divine feminine energy, in its purest form.

The right black man needs you awake, complete and true to yourself, truly living in your best light and life.


Try not to reduce yourself just to get love as what you will end up attracting will not be love – but a placeholder.

One that will make you resentful in years to come. You didn’t come here to play a little infatuated.

You didn’t come here to empower others to play a little infatuated, either.

You came here to win, and you don’t win by shrinking yourself.

Arielle
Hi, my name is Arielle. 5 Years ago I met my wonderful fiancé, on a dating app. We now have two beautiful children together. I am passionate about black love, rebuilding the black family, breaking generational curses and creating our own narrative. I am also an advocate for online dating, for obvious reasons! Hence - https://www.straightblacklove.com
Arielle